Hedda Gerlinde Sidla

It’s been months since we spoke…I’m sorry for the absence, but appreciative of my presence of mind to hold back…and today I decided to not let one more moment pass. I began this blog at the beginning of a  old and new journey…two years ago. That is enough time…to mourn and recover the self that is the soul of me.

I had a dream when I was a 16-year-old girl full of life and potential…and arrogance.. I imagined myself driving up the Coast of California 1 in a red-topped red convertible. I imagined my stories being sold all over the world. It was a gread trip…in my imagination. I told my girlfriends about it…and in their own blunder encouraged me on.

So, here we are today, August 3, 2016, between the red convertible, the stories…and real life.WOW!!! Nothing beats real life, even the big disappointments, the sweet surrenders, and the power of friends along the way. I guess what I’m trying to say in this post is that friendship, long-distance or close…is the sweetest of heartfelt living. It is the sunny sky that floats atop the red convertible. So here is to you all, my dear, dear friends…close and afar. And there’s going to be more to this sorry that  I ever let on today!

with love, Hedda

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This title and contents are pulled from Eckhart Tolle’s book “A New Earth”. Re-reading this wisdom has inspired me and confirmed my Being. Grief has stages, they say. But this kind of grief is not in the books. I am fine, alert, alive…and moving forward slowly. The competition with myself has ceased…I am learning about different perspectives, and able to take it all in. I am grateful for my safe bed every night, the moon shining through my window…and the support of all my friends and family over so many years. I accept my place in the world today…I enjoy the beauty in small things…I am enthusiastic about…sharing…and hearing from you about your awarenesses…

The Three Modalities of Awakened Doing are 1) Acceptance; 2) Enjoyment; and 3) Enthusiasm.(Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth, pp295)

to play with dolls. Alejandra was bought from The Rocking Horse here in Owen Sound…she was the last one. I decided to knit her a winter coat and take her outside for a photo session…although she loves her new coat, she is most delighted with her pink suede boots.

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Well, this is a nesting kind of post…I had a cheap shelf unit that I rescued years ago, laying dormant in my garage. My kind neighbours helped me bring it into the house…and suddenly I knew…this would be the place for my stones, a few plants, and some precious items from artists I love. I was surprised by the energy that came forth as I am mounting the ‘exhibits’…humble things…stones…it’s a work in progress at the moment, but the inspiration is great! Every morning as I come down the stairs I will be greeted by nature and beauty. The funny looking creatures in the second photo are ones I created in a felting workshop.

nature…and beauty.

So it’s coming on three days of my one year anniversary of living solo in my new home. I’ts been a year of transition, growth, learning. No regrets, though probably have spent too much time on the sofa…

In between I have crocheted many blankets for friends, walked in and out of my studio absorbing the potential…sometimes sat and made some marks that I now look back on as support. I have cooked and baked for neighbours, talked with heartfelt friends, and began sewing again. I have been present for my Mother and her appointments…and some delicious dinners together that she made. I have gotten my financial house in order.

And though it feels lonely at times, I know I am blessed, because the relationships I have honoured honour me back. Sometimes being far is a big learning when I can allow myself to ask questions.

Where are you learning from these days?

Bed is a sacred place…it’s where we put our head down and surrender to the night. Where do we go when we’re asleep? How do we wake up in the morning…groggy or energized. I have to say this hot summer has taken a toll on me…I’m and Autumn Girl. I love the cool breezes and lower temperatures. But then I don’t have a mansion with a great pool. And my neighbour and I have had discussions about the weather…he’s not happy right now. I said well then, half of the year is for you, the other half for me.

So September just breezed by and I’m feeling energized again. Painting, coaching, and going to replace the bad carpets to wood flooring in the next few weeks.

The world is full of trauma, my heart goes out to it all…but what I can do right now is be in my community and support it as best I can. That begins with me taking care of  myself, and then reaching out. It’s as simple as making a fresh bed in this moment…

I received a gift from a long-time friend, Carolyn, in the mail a few days ago. They are gifts of photography and her eye/heart of seeing. I framed them and hung them near the entrance of my home to remind me of the creative energy that is available to us all…and the precious thread of connection that expands our love and wellbeing. What nourishes you, and where are you hanging it??? So, no more words…here are her images…

I recently had the opportunity to facilitate two volunteer art classes at an Owen Sound school. One was a grade-2 level, the other a grade 6-level.

What I learned…the grade-2ers needed no art lessons…they just needed prompts and off they went…seven drawings each in response to my prompts. They were enthusiastic and infused with creative energy. They were into expressing without judgement…and I believe they could have gone on for hours…

The grade-6 class was enthusiastic…willing to trust the prompts…and still open to the possibilities…some questions were asked…then demonstrations that they had the opportunity to question…they offered many drawings each…even the ones who didn’t now where to start…and stop.

Learning about time is a good thing…yet creativity asks of us the time required to explore…that may be walking, running, seeing, breathing, connecting, witnessing, making, cooking, hugging, sitting, talking or not talking, feeling present…what is helping you learn about your creative soul self?

A friend recently asked me what it is that makes me want to create…paint…make. This photo below is what I showed her…going to the studio and mixing up colours, oils, into big mounds that I can draw from. There is the familiar range of blue-turquoise and gold-green. From these reds and yellows enter…choices…big canvas…movement of body and soul…the first impulses so satisfying…then the mind comes in with wants and expectations to make it right and known and perfect. That is the part of the process when artists are most vulnerable. It takes time to learn to say no to perfection, and yes to flow. It is the acceptance of allowing soul expression over expectation that makes true art. You know this…every time you walk into a gallery, there are some paintings/sculptures that draw you in…expand your heart/mind/soul. You become curious, and that curiosity moves into your life.

so here are just a few images of beginnings that I photographed along the way in the past few years.

Artists realize and accept that the journey is a valid place…perfection/completion is the by-product. Show/tell me where you are in the journey of your life…

Many years ago I met a heartfelt artist, Olivier Toupin. I remember the first visit to his Ile d’Orleans (near Quebec City) home/studio. I entered by the front door into a spacious room flooded with afternoon light, that led through a functional kitchen. I stopped. On the large table was a white bowl, ceramic, made by a local potter, partially-filled with kiwi. The perfect size of the bowl, it’s changing whiteness…and the proportions of the natural coloured fruit touched me so deeply. I have never forgotten that image…that experience…nor the moment of moving slowly into his studio to see the expression-full watercolours he was making. He had previously worked as an accountant…and yet had the courage to find his true expression in paint and risk his senior-hood, devoted to creating.. Years have passed since that time…

At a garage sale the other day I found a bowl (I’d been looking for years)…and today I bought a bag of kiwi…though it’s not exactly the same…it touches my heart.

Tell me please, about a memory that is precious to you, and how it continues to live in you today…